a BLOG about NOTHING

Have you ever seen the movie the Emperors New Groove?  During the movie, Kuzco is turned into a lama and Pacha helps him find the magic potion to turn him back into the Emperor.  As they are trying different potions, Yzma (who turned Kuzco into the lama) swallows a potion that turns her into a cat.  While she’s talking,  she stops and says, “is that my voice?” in a very high pitched tone three times.  On Saturday that same quote came to mind as I was giving the best man toast at my brothers wedding. I started the toast and I could hear my voice over the speakers and it sounded like a very twangy southern accent.  I thought the DJ was playing a joke on me and hit a special button that made my voice sound like a good ol’ country boy. I paused a few times to make sure it was me.  Sure enough I picked up some accent from somewhere.  Maybe it was nerves or maybe it was from being in the orchard for 8 days harvesting almonds.  Whatever it was, I spent the rest of the night convincing people that I don’t have a twangy southern accent.

Have you ever pissed off a hive of bees?  I should have known that throwing water and prodding the hive with a stick would piss them off.  We are pulling a roof off a house and under the shingles was a hive. They have been pestering the workers all week and we finally found the hot spot.  We all took turns trying to remove the hive to another location and when it was my turn they had enough of us picking on them.  I have had my share of stings, but this one hurt the most.  The bee did a fly by and stung me on the side of the nose.  There was no landing, just a stinger in a very sensitive area.  I swiped at it and hit myself in the nose again.  Seconds later, my eyes teared up and throbbing began. It felt like someone had hit me in the face with a baseball bat.  I now have a bruise on the side of my nose from the sting.  I think from now on, I will walk away from the bees.

…fight like susan

This morning I woke up to this…

…and I cried a little.

We thought about expanding our family, so I got a new bike.  Welcome to the new addition…

After two  years on the Jamis, I decided it was time to upgrade.  I took it out last week and absolutely love it.  I can’t wait to take it out some more and introduce it to more trail.

Right around 10-1030p I bet this is what I look like.  I would like to put a camera in the freezer that would take my picture every time I peered into it looking for ice cream.  It’s a bad habit, but I love it.  I love ice cream.   My mom used to eat a bowl at night and I must have picked it up from her.  On Saturday nights I check to see if we have any.  If we don’t then I usually run to the store in the middle of the night.  If I forget to check, then we start calling friends in the neighborhood.  Ashley usually comes through for me as she always does.  But if that route fails, we start dialing family.  So I apologize if we call on Sunday asking if we can come by because all I really want is a bowl of ice cream.  It probably would not be so bad to have a bowl a night, but to follow it up 8 hours later in the morning with a diet coke and 6-pack of Donut Gems is just a recipe for disaster. Every night I try to fight the urge, but I usually cave 99 out of 100 times.  In fact, I need a bowl right now.